The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't think brook has ever known best
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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