It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
