bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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