I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
