dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
