Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You are the jesus of drinking
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
