He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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