I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
