I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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