Say something about gay babies.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She told me I should be a condom model.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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