I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
