so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You made out with two different species that night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
