Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
