But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i dont even know how to be here
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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