All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
