No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
