i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
