I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
