I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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