I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
