you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
