Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
