I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
