My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize