You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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