just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
