it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
