one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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