There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
