It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
