It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
