remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
