he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize