So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
