and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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