dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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