My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
