I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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