Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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