okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
