bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
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