I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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