well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
