hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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