Nicole vs. Life
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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