Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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