I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
