the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
