Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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