Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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