I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
