her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize