Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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