Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Randomize
