Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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