I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Randomize
