i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
They are going to name an STD after you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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