I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
