so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize